Konyo, Jologs (and other classes in Philippines).


Big-time question of the day material. You'll get a big-time response. First I'll explain that Jologs is a Filipino term used to describe people of low breeding.

While you wanted to know more about this phenomenon, I figured why stop at Jologs? Let's blow the whole lid open on the Class System of the Philippines

I'm sure you're all familiar with the report card style of grading. A being the highest grade, then B then so on (skipping E for some reason), until F = failure.

Here in descending order, is a general overview of the various classes that comprise the Homeland.

Class A

Specific Groups: Coños, Socialites, Artistas, Big Money Families.

Examples: Any one with a last name of Araneta, Ayala, Cojuanco, et.al. Most Ateneans, Lasallians and residents of Alabang.

The real Class A people in the Philippines are the truly wealthy. Typically they have a driver, chauffeuring them around a million+ peso vehicle (with sun roof, CD player, cup holders that work). They live in the most exclusive villages and have attended the best schools money can buy. They frequent hotel restaurants, Spanish and Japanese Restaurants, CPK, and places with a weird French accent in the name. Their last name sounds like a dashing soap opera star that would headline in either Mexico or Taiwan.

While there are some good people in Class A, the "Coños" are the stereotypical arrogant rich guy who will speak English at all times except when to curse.

Coños will be found yachting, shopping for designer clothes and shoes, people watching at trendy places, hanging out at Starbucks and actually eating, and doing numerous designer drugs.

One last thing about this Class - majority of these people are Spanish or Chinese looking. There is no in-between. It's like the paler you are the better. If you're dark and rich, you're no real Coño, you're just a dark, rich guy.


Class B

Specific Groups: Educated middle to upper classes
Examples: We at Planetgimmick (Though we insist to be very high  and most of you out there - our valued fans.

Ok, now we're talking about the educated crowd with some money to throw around the necessities in life and then some. We'd like to think that anyone who is surfing this website is at least this caliber so, we'll be addressing you personally during this class description.

If you're in this B-Class, you probably drive a Honda something with all the perks. You've gone to a good college that most people have heard of, or is known for it's hot babes. B Class people live mostly in sub-divisions and will have a driver along with numerous maids.

Since you're educated you'll enjoy cable TV, all different kinds of music to suit your moods (U2, Mike Francis, Chubbawubba, and Barry White), and the biggest blockbusters that Hollywood has to offer.

Your last name is your average Spanish, Chinese, or Malaysian (.er maybe not Malaysian) last name.

Favorite Expressions such normal outbursts like, "Hey pare, what's up?" "What's your gimmick tonight?" and "Pu-tang-ina!"

You'll enjoy a good café, a solid dinner at Italian and American/Continental Restaurants, and the newest date places.

Yes, you my class B fried are the ideal example of what a Filipino should be - smart, fun, optimistic, and a frequent visitor of www.planetgimmick.com - The Philippines Gimmick Authority. Rock on.


Class C

Specific Groups: The Educated Masa, working class
Examples: The majority of the general Philippine populace.

This huge Class is what advertisers in the country are targeting. Sure the Class A people set the trends but Class C people are the biggest influence in a company's overall success. Look at the text/ cell phone explosion. Look at the good-value grills and restaurants that are still going. Without the C class malls would go out of business.

So as important as this group is to the economy of the Philippines, people in this group will strive to be above their station. They work hard in their 8 to 6 jobs, party it up as fierce as anyone, but will always distance themselves from Jologs. When the B class do it, it's normally in jest as it's really absurd to think that well we could be Jologs. But the C class is THAT close to being Jologs, so to call them such would really hurt them.

Anyway, Class C, the educated Masa, is also the working class, so have practical tastes in food (Filipino, Chinese, BBQ, fast food), will watch everything on TV, and speak in Tagalog most of the time. Their English comprehension is 100% but their English speaking is mixed ranging from the fluent to the fresh-off-the-boat, please don't talk anymore level. And finally their last name could pass for a Malaysian surname, having at least 4 tribal-sounding syllables.


Class D

Specific Groups: Jologs

Ok now we finally get to what sparked the genesis of this article in the first place: them Jologs. As I stated earlier Jologs are people with low breeding. Their education is rudimentary, their manners crass, and their behavior found wanting.
Now before I sound like an elitist (too late though), Jologs are the not-so-educated masa. They are easy to please and don't have much in aspirations, except maybe to know all the dance moves from the Sex Bomb Dancers or to know the lyrics to all the songs of Michael Learns To Rock.

Ok, but as our reader asked, "What makes a person Jologs?"

To my understanding Jologs are a sub-culture of the Masa. They eschew work for pleasure, live a carefree life, are as loud as possible, and wear cheap slippers exclusively. In addition, Jologs are always short and dark, and a majority of them will have blond streaks or red highlights that are obvious do-it-yourself jobs. They often have tattoos, pierced ears, and the baggiest shorts and jeans possible. Their mangling of the Queen's English is a felony but somehow it becomes adequate when they sing along to the most vile Back Street Boys.

What really sets them apart from all is their own vocabulary.

I was recently sent this list of Jologs definitions. Such funny stuff, that I had to read this with a toilet nearby. It probably was lifted off the net somewhere, but hey whoever originated this list - I must say - salamat po from the bottom of my Upper Class B heart.

So you see, Jologs are the riff-raff of civilized society. Libertines in an urban jungle, they live for primal urges, yet will ignore the squalor around them and enjoy their April Boys tapes, their Ralph Lauren knock offs, their Judy Ann Santos movies with relish. They don't give a f**k and some will even carry the normally derogatory classification with a sense of pride.


Class F

Examples: The Squatters

The last group of people are those who live at the poverty level. They have almost no education, numerous offspring, will usually beg for their well-being, and have really bad teeth. When someone is considered "Squatting" you're lower than low - a vagrant, a bum. They clog up and pollute all available waterways and rivers, they tap into your electricity lines, and back up your car asking for change even when there's no other car in sight.

I'm getting so depressed writing about them, that my journalistic juices have gone sour. Ah.the rabble.

Well there you have it. A general overview of the unspoken class system of the Philippines. Hope you learned something. Wherever you fall on the Class List, rise above your station. (Shit that was strenuously close to the tagline of the teeny-bopper "Jologs" movie that says, "Rise above yourself." I just puked in my mouth).

So there you go Star, a lengthy response to your question. So the next time any of you get called Jologs you now know what to do. Call them a squatter.